Saturday, January 22, 2005

Vanity Blogs of Random Personal Thoughts are Doomed

*****
Why do I predict that Vanity Blogs of Random Personal Thoughts are "doomed" and will one day soon no longer exist?

Because:

1. These blogs are boring

2. These bloggers (blog authors) will not have the stamina, the energy, to keep writing on and on and on, while no one visits their blog and if by some miracle they do get a visitor, that visitor won't bother to leave a comment.

Since these "digital diary" bloggers talk a lot but have nothing to say, how can anyone really respond to their blog via a comment. A comment? A comment on what? On nothing? Okay....


Here's what I copied and pasted from an actual blog entitled (charmingly and creatively enough) "My Life":



[POST TITLE]: Confused..


Never feel so confused before... Now I don't seem to know what I want... or worst what I feel.. Feel like my past is haunting me n my future is pressuring me... God... can u enlighten me in someway or another...Nobody knows bout my past two years... they may know it by the surface... but the real impact of my last two years still remain a secret... A secret I really hope to reveal to someone I hold dearly to...Someday... maybe I'll...

Went out today... it's was fun I must admit... but it added a lot to my thoughts.. like... What was I doing?? What was I longing for?? Am I looking for something?? or worst... someone?? What is it?? Why is it so hard for me to know.. Am I drown in my own emotion...or am I blinded by the light.... I need an answer ... n I need it fast... Too many sleepless night... Too many tears... I'm a confused soul... Longing to be found...

I know I need to calm down... no one can help me except me alone... but how calm is calm... n how will I know when the answer finally arrive... Will it ring a bell... or will knock... will I miss it... or will I see it... I'm too worried to know... But I think I'm too scared to know... I need to go for a heart operation... I need a new heart... this heart is worthless now... it's trying to wonder off alone.... but I'm too scare to follow it... scare to be hurt once more... I know life is all bout risking... but I've risk much for the last two years... n I've lost all... All that is important to me... My ego..my reputation..my feelings n my soul.... They are coming back to me now... I know the are.. I'm just too scare to let them go again... too scare to try...

Well... I hope things will be clearer as time passes by... I have faith it will... What is mine will be mine... My ego.. my reputation... my feelings n my heart... it'll all come back... back to me... so that I may once again risk ....I need to rest my thoughts....I'm...too...confused

posted by Mei Yin @ 10:30 PM
1 Comments:

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At 10:25 PM, Steven Streight said…

Suggested upcoming post titles:

Bored
Troubled
Worried
Worried Sick
Lethargic
Deleting This Blog Due to My Not Having Anything to Say
About Anything Important and Worth Reading


While I don't mean to hurt anybody's feelings, blogs like this are cluttering the webscape.

They have a right to create any blog they want and write anything they want on their blog. But did they ever consider how impolite and selfish it is to take up space on a server and on the internet with such rubbish?

Vanity blogs are doomed. Very few people have stacks and stacks of print medium diaries or journals. Generally, people just keep a journal or diary for a short period of time, like during some crisis, tragedy, or transition, then stop and move on with their lives.

Thus, vanity chatterboxing blogs won't exist forever. People will stop maintaining them and stop creating them. The sooner, the better.

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Slogan Slogging for Enhanced Creativity

*****

It's time to share a little secret of mine with all my beloved fans.

This is a little exercise in creativity, a way to train your mind to think outside the brainwashing box.

It's a simple deconstruction technique that has been used, but maybe never defined, by advertisers and salespeople for ages.

Ever heard of "slogan slogging" aka "proverb busting" aka "motto mangling" aka "topsy turveying"?

Of course you haven't. I invented those terms myself and have, to date, never really revealed them to anyone in any serious exposition.

It's fun, safe, and provides hours of diversion for the whole family. All it takes is a little imagination, boredom, and contempt for conformist group think.

Step-by-Step Guide to Slogan Slogging

Here's how it works:

1. Select a commonly accepted, oft repeated phrase that bugs you.

2. Now, start changing words in the phrase. Show no mercy. Warp and distort at will. Try reversing the meaning or expanding the intention. Or re-craft the phrase as a reply to the one who used it. (See Example 5)

3. Next, re-write the phrase retaining all the demolishing and mutations. Voila! you got yourself a slogged slogan. Congratulations!

4. Finally, start using the mangled motto as often as possible, forcing it aggressively into conversations and email messages.

5. Someday, eventually, someone will get tired of your busted proverb and will turn it upside down or inside out, perhaps reverting back to the original statement. This cannot be helped or avoided, since it's beyond your control.


Examples of Slogan Slogging:


In case you didn't quite follow clearly what I described above, let's look at some real world samples of slogans I've slogged.

I'm not trying, in these examples, to create real advertising slogans, but to just show you the process.

This process may come in handy when you're trying to come up with ideas for product names, sales material, marketing strategies, etc.


EXAMPLE #1

[Original Slogan]: "Today is the first day of the rest of your life."

[Slogged Slogan]: "Yesterday was the last day of the past of your life."

Okay, that was a technique called Topsy Turveying: standing the statement on its head, turning it in the opposite direction.


EXAMPLE #2


[Original Slogan]: "Two heads are better than one."

[Slogged Slogan]: "Two hands are better than one thousand."


EXAMPLE #3


[Original Slogan]: "If you can't beat em, join em."

[Slogged Slogan]: "If you can't join em, start your own club."


EXAMPLE #4

[Original Slogan]: "It's raining."

[Slogged Slogan]: "What's raining?"


EXAMPLE #5


[Original Slogan]: "Same difference."

[Slogged Slogan, as distorted feedback]: "But different sameness."


EXAMPLE #6

[Original Slogan]: "There must be a reason for it."

[Slogged Slogan]: "There must be an id for reason."


EXAMPLE #7

[Original Slogan]: "What's up?"

[Slogged Slogan, as technical answer disguised as inquiry]: "What's the opposite of down?"


EXAMPLE #8


[Original Slogan]: "Be the change you want to see in the world."

[Slogged Slogan]: "Change the world, you want to be in the sea."

[Alternate Slogan Slog]: "See the bee you want to change in the world."


EXAMPLE #9

[Original Slogan]: "God helps those who help themselves."

(According to a recent survey, this is the favorite Bible verse of Americans, but it's not in the Bible, so I can safely slog it.)

[Slogged Slogan]: "God heals those who hurt themselves."


EXAMPLE #10

[Original Slogan]: "I think, therefore I am."

[Slogged Slogan]: "I think I am, therefore I think."


EXAMPLE #11

[Original Slogan]: "If the human mind was simple enough to understand, we'd be too simple to understand it."

[Slogged Slogan]: "If the simple understand was human enough to mind, understand: we'd be too human to mind it."


EXAMPLE #12

[Original Slogan]: "I have mixed feelings about it."

[Slogged Slogan]: "I have felt mixings about it."


EXAMPLE #13

[Original Slogan]: "When it rains, it pours."

[Slogged Slogan]: "When it pains, it's sores."


EXAMPLE #14

[Original Slogan]: "What's the sound of one hand clapping?"

(Supposedly anti-logic Zen koan devised to demonstrate how the mental understanding is limited and word play can supposedly stymie the mind. I disagree. I believe the mind is more than words, though I'm using words to convey this.)

[Slogged Slogan]: "What's the point of one hand shaking?"

[Alternate Slogan Slog in the form of a reasoned reply]: "Since one is half of two, the sound of one hand clapping is half the sound of two hands clapping."

[Alternate Slogan Slog in the form of a seasoned supply]: "Whoosh. Whoosh." (sound of one hand slapping the empty air.)


Okay.

That's enough for now.

You've got the hang of it, right?

Okay, good.

Now it's your turn.

Go ahead.

Slog a slogan.

This is how you can come up with advertising slogans and headlines and product names.

By putting a new twist on an old saying.

Saturday, January 01, 2005

Products That Market Themselves

*****

Here's anecdotal evidence to demonstrate
how some products can market themselves.

If you visit the K-Swiss tennis shoe
web site at www.kswiss.com
you'll discover, in their About K-Swiss
page, that they "do not pay
millions of dollars to" athletes
or sports stars to endorse their products.

This is revolutionary news.

The K-Swiss company tells shoppers
that one pair of their shoes will
convince you to become a loyal customer.

They ask you to put your own
"spin" on the shoes and their quality.

It's absolutely true.

Once you own a pair, you are hooked.

I bought a pair of "Classic" style
K-Swiss flat bottom leather tennis
shoes several years ago.

I wish I could tell you exactly
how long ago, but I think it was
about 6 years ago.

They would not die.

They did not fall apart.

I walked the daylights out of them.

I mowed the grass wearing them.

I walked 4 to 10 miles at a time.

I tromped through snow and mud.

They got soaked, then dried harshly
in the heat of my apartment.

They maintained their integrity.

Eventually, the rubber soles were so
worn, I had to buy a new pair.

The leather upper portion of the shoes
was scuffed and stained, but not
compromised, not torn, no holes,
no unravelling of thread, nothing.

The stitches stayed stitched.

The leather remained intact.

I actually considered giving them
a decent burial, they seemed so much
like dear, faithful friends.

I was now a fiercely loyal lifetime
evangelist of the K-Swiss brand shoe.

Today I bought a new pair of K-Swiss
white leather "low" cut (free ankle)
"Kendis" style tennis shoes.

Only $49.

Other brands were on sale, but
I didn't bother wasting my time.

I knew what brand I wanted: K-Swiss.

When I tried them on, instantly
they felt cushy, luxuriously good.

They felt sturdy and balanced.

They look very sharp.

I will tell everyone I know about
how much I like K-Swiss shoes.

No other brand of tennis shoe
interests me in the slightest.

I wrote an email to K-Swiss
customer service telling them
what I've divulged in this post.

The K-Swiss shoes market themselves.

This is the essence of
Mentally Correct Marketing.

Produce a product that is so good
and so reasonably priced, they
sell themselves via word of mouth.

Try on a pair of K-Swiss shoes.
You won't want to take them off.