Wednesday, September 29, 2004

Capture Attention-Command Action

Two sides of your marketing coin. Posted by Hello

You use creativity
to capture attention,
communicate benefits,
convey the product functions
and features that make
these benefits occur...

...then use responsivity
to command or coax customers
into acting on your offer.

Responsivity elements include:

* limited time urgency
* free samples
* satisfied customer testimonials
* money-back guarantee
* reply deadline
* bonus gift
* reputable referrals
* trial use period
* upfront credentials
* credibility characteristics
* prestige indications
* easy to use reply functionalities

...but don't forget that "call to action."


For specific solutions to your
marketing problems...

Contact via email: steven DOT streight AT gmail DOT com

Do it right now...while you're thinking about it.

Psychologically Unsound 15 Second Sitcoms

Ads That Simply Entertain Are A Waste of Money Posted by Hello

We've all seen them.

Television commerical ads that seem like 15 second sitcoms.

A recent large airline company commercial shows a black guy trying to remember his new son-in-law's name, he thinks it starts with a "B." His wife, who, being a woman, is supposedly better at remembering family type stuff, keeps saying "No" to his guesses as they make their way to the airplane.

Finally, somehow, an airline ticket taker, also female, says (is she a psychic?) the correct name.

Maybe I need to see this again to understand how the ticket taker knew the name.

But no matter how many times I view this commercial, I'll never arrive at a good reason to use American Airlines, or whatever the airline was. Even that fact is fuzzy in my mind.

So many television commercials, radio spots, and print ads are pulling similar shenanigans, and some poor sap is signing off on them. Some dumb corporate advertising manager is thinking they got their money's worth. Now, that's a real joke.

Listen up people: this is lame, idiotic, ineffectual advertising.

I'm being harsh here for a reason.

It's not funny that terrorists used commercial airlines to attack the United States. It's not funny that some major airlines are facing possible bankruptcy. It's not funny that customers have to go through wearisome security checks. It's not funny that some customers are humiliated during security checks. It's not funny that bombs and guns and knives still slip past security checks. It's not funny that armed air marshalls may be required on board.

So why try to make light humor of boarding a plane. You do not see the couple, in this commercial, going through any security checks. Not that you must show this, but to instead show the guy trying to remember his new son-in-law's name? This is pathetic nonsensical advertising, and it happens all the time on television.

You may be able to make a micro-sitcom commercial work, I mean, make it create a powerful impression of why I should choose your product or service over all your competitors.

But I can't recall any recently that were successful from a Mentally Correct Marketing standpoint.

THEREFORE: if you want me to laugh, make a commercial that causes me to laugh at people who don't use your product, so I feel justified and smart when I buy it.

It's A Dark World We Live In...

Posted by Hello

Rathergate: deconstructive analysis of the "apology"

Rathergate Man Posted by Hello

FIRST KNOW THIS: Streight Site Systems is aggressively non-partisan. We favor no political party and no candidate. Liberals and conservatives are equally suspicious to us.

RATIONALE: CBS and other Mainstream Media journalists have launched vicious attacks on Citizen Blogger Journalists ("J-Bloggers"). Such anti-democratic, elitist nonsense will be gleefully commented upon in this forum.

J-BLOGGERS: You also need to shape up. Please always include hypertext links in your posts, so readers can link directly to sources of quotes and news reports. Don't assume that everyone knows where they are found.

For a full account of Rathergate and why our democratic institutions are threatened by his arrogance, please refer to Kathleen Parker of The Union Leader newspaper.


(CBS) Below is the text of CBS News Anchor Dan Rather's statement on the documents purportedly written by President Bush's National Guard commander:

"Last week, amid increasing questions about the authenticity of documents used in support of a "60 Minutes Wednesday" story about President Bush's time in the Texas Air National Guard, CBS News vowed to re-examine the documents in question-and their source-vigorously.

And we promised that we would let the American public know what this examination turned up, whatever the outcome.

Now, after extensive additional interviews, I no longer have the confidence in these documents that would allow us to continue vouching for them journalistically. I find we have been misled on the key question of how our source for the documents came into possession of these papers.

That, combined with some of the questions that have been raised in public and in the press, leads me to a point where-if I knew then what I know now-I would not have gone ahead with the story as it was aired, and I certainly would not have used the documents in question.

But we did use the documents.

We made a mistake in judgment, and for that I am sorry.

It was an error that was made, however, in good faith and in the spirit of trying to carry on a CBS News tradition of investigative reporting without fear or favoritism.

Please know that nothing is more important to us than people's trust in our ability and our commitment to report fairly and truthfully."


1. "I find WE have been misled":
failure to accept personal responsibility.

2. "questions that have been raised in
the public and in the press":
how about the blogosphere, your nemesis?
Conveniently left them out.

3. "vouching for them journalistically":
you mean you would vouch for them
personally, the contents are true,
but the documents are fake?
it's only "journalistically"
that you find them coming up short?

4. "if I knew then what I know now":
but you should have "known then" what
you "know now"--that's your job as a journalist.

5. "But WE did use the documents.
WE made a mistake in judgment":
failure to accept personal responsibility.

6. "error was made in good faith":
this makes the error, the sloppy journalism,
any less serious and troubling?

7. "investigative reporting without fear or favoritism":
yet no apology to the Bush campaign, to Bush himself,
to the American voters, to the world? how is this stubborn
arrogance and attempt to cover up not "fear or favoritism"?

CONCLUSION: There are many blog campaigns to force CBS to fire or retire Dan Rather, who would rather deny that he has a political ax to grind, and who is possibly guilty of trying to illegally influence national elections, which is a federal crime. When the mainstream media attack bloggers, we fight back.

(More on blogs as deconstructionist monsters at Vaspers the Grate site.)

Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Mentally Correct Product Promo Priorities

MentCorrMar promos Posted by Hello

Product Promotion Priorities:

1. Mind wants to get rid of problems.
(Your product solves them.)

BUT...if mind sees no pressing problems...

2. Mind wants to accumulate benefits.
(Your product provides them.)

BUT...if mind is satiated with benefits...

3. Mind wants to enhance life.
(Your product offers improvement.)

BUT...if mind sees no room for progress...

4. Mind wants to make money.
(Your product increases income.)

BUT...if mind has more money than it can use...

5. Mind wants to reduce costs.
(Your product economizes, controls waste.)

BUT...if mind sees super-abundance not threatened by leaking...

6. Mind wants to generate good will.
(Your product causes admiration.)

BECAUSE...mind can never have enough love.

Sunday, September 26, 2004

MC vs. PU copywriting Posted by Hello

MC vs. PU marketing Posted by Hello

Mentally Correct Marketing begins with:

"What do customers for
a product like this
want the product to do?"

"What do competitive products
fail to do for the customer?"

"What can honestly be said
about this product
that we haven't said yet,
but is a powerful benefit?"

Psychologically Unsound Marketing
cares only about seducing customers
and often goes about this clumsily,
due to the hurry to make easy profit.

Mentally Correct Marketing
is peaceful and compassionate,
and recognizes how the mind works.

It works with the mind, not against it.


Mind is repulsed by deception.
Mind is depressed by ugliness.
Mind is angered by contradiction.
Mind is dulled by repetition.
Mind is diminished by ignorance.
Mind is de-motivated by chaos.
Mind is disrupted by distractions.


Mind is delighted with truth.
Mind is charmed by beauty.
Mind is attracted to logic.
Mind is refreshed by variety.
Mind is excited by genius.
Mind is thrilled by triumph over obstacles.
Mind is energized by newness.

Thursday, September 23, 2004

The Four Corners of Your Marketing World

Turn to us for marketing solutions. Posted by Hello

You use ideas.
You use strategies.
You use words.
You use images.

You do your marketing.

Nothing happens the way
you want it to.

Using the wrong ideas?
Using the wrong strategies?
Using the wrong words?
Using the wrong images?

Maybe we can help.

Contact via email: astreight AT msn DOT com

(That's the spam prevention method of rendering email address.)

Also see:

Problem Solving Products defeat heavily promoted junk.

User-driven vs. Hype-driven

Posted by Hello

User-driven Problem Solvers
are ethical products that
seriously attempt to help
people or to enhance their lives.

Hype-driven Profit Makers
are "take the money and run"
products that are promoted
just to make a fast buck
off unsuspecting suckers.

User-driven Problem Solvers
need to be accompanied by
extremely good service
and money-back guarantees.

Hype-driven Profit Makers
tend to provide grudging service
and that's often offshore outsourced.

Mentally Correct Marketing is...

Posted by Hello

Saturday, September 18, 2004

Oprah Hawk Show Host

Oprah has gone from
talk show host to
hawk show host,
according to the
Chicago Sun Times.

They compare her egomaniacal
theatrics and audience hysteria
to the old television program,
"Queen for a Day"...

wherein materialistic,
discontented housewives
would present dreary, hard luck tales
in exchange for shiny new
kitchen gadgets & appliances.

When you go to Oprah's web site,
you will see nothing about her
grandiose car giveaway stunt,

until you go down to the bottom
of the homepage. There, in a
text link (no photo) is a sentence:

"We made dreams come true!
Cars for everyone. Watch!"

This desperate act of mentally
incorrect marketing was done
to bolster her sagging viewership.

MotorTrend reminds us that Oprah's
"My Favorite Things" giveaway
was spoofed on Saturday Night Live.

They also said that Jonathon Gray,
at the University of California, Berkeley
warns that these stunts could cause people
to think that charity requires sponsors
and he warns that these stunts just drive
people to consume more products.

Consider these facts and observations:

* Occurs during Oprah's 19th season premiere.

* Pontiac G6 model, not yet in showrooms.

* 276 audience members, selected due to
alleged "need for an automobile."

* In one hour, the Pontiac G6
dominates conversations.

* Oprah has never had a
homeless people audience.

* The Oprah show is now like
a game show without a game,
but with plenty of prizes.

* The success of this show depends
largely on how much longer viewers
will tolerate a vicarious thrill seeing
others walk off with gifts they may
not really need or deserve.

* Oprah is using "makeovers"
and "giveaways" to
promote her own brand
and increase her popularity,

this is not true, selfless
altruism or philanthropy.

* Oprah seems to have an
insatiable craving to be admired.

* On the Fast Company Now blog,
commenter "Urijah" said Oprah
never pulls a single penny out of her pocket,
it's the sponsors and advertising agencies
that provide the merchandise, whilst Bill Gates
makes pledges of $3 billion to charitable causes.

* The Chicago Sun Times explains how Pontiac
is the real winner, getting free plugs in all major
media, for nothing, just from a $8 million cost
on the cars that were given away on Oprah's show.

DISMAL CONCLUSION: reports on how Oprah
jumped up and down on the stage
yelling: "Everybody gets a car.
Everybody gets a car. Everybody gets a car."

Like with many televangelists
and professional religious figures,

the attention and glory is not given
to the true source of the blessings or gifts,

but to the vain one who struts around
bestowing it upon the adoring crowds.

Thursday, September 16, 2004

Rational Capitalism vs. Psycho Capitalism

Posted by Hello

Psycho Capitalism focuses on how to gain more sales of questionable or malevolent products,
and provides grudging, unsatisfying service.

Rational capitalism
focuses on how to
better serve customers
with improved products
and enhanced service.

User interaction with the product = user mirror.

mirror of user reality vs. blank wall of marketing guessworkPosted by Hello

Customer Service IS a Profit Center

(Seth Godin's customer service problems ,
and the offshore outsourcing warning
in the Federal Times, were the
inspiration for this one.)

Have you heard the new joke?
It's enough to make me choke.
"Customer service is never
a true profit center." customer dis-service a profit center?
Is customer disloyalty good for business ever?
Tell me, does that bad word of mouth
make profits head north...or head south?

Now listen up.
I'm only going to say this once:
Now listen up.
Don't be a foolish dunce.

Customer service IS a profit center.
Direct marketers have known this forever.
Good customer service
may consume more time,
but those who don't have it
are low forms of slime.

Let's skip the poetic rhymes
and get serious now.

It's possible to track
the fiscal effects of
poor customer service
vs. good customer service.

You don't receive a check
every time you provide
a service to a customer,
they don't pay for it usually.

But this doesn't mean
customer service is a loss,
a money-loser, unprofitable.

Each good service you give,
you gain a vote and a voice.

A vote from the customer
a vote of confidence
a vote of satisfaction
a vote of loyalty
a vote for continued purchasing.

A voice of the customer,
proclaiming your virtues,
encouraging others to try your product,
cheering you on to victory
over your competitors .

Customer service is profitable.
Customer service is an expected
feature included with the product,
like a owner's manual or warranty.

It's not something reluctantly
thrown in as a bonus.
It's not a peripheral issue.

Ever stop going to a restaurant,
not because the food was bad,
but because of poor service?

Companies that shove
customer service off on
incompetent, unconcerned
outsource providers...they anger me.

Dumb ass, ask your
marketing department
if "customer service"
is a fringe detail of a product.

Dumb ass, your competitors will
take good care of your customers
if you refuse to do so.

You think corporate profit
is a "numbers game"?
Just sell as many products to
as many people as possible,
and leave it at that?

Just sell it, then move on
to the next sucker?
Once they've bought it,
they're stuck with it?

Your big budget advertising
will reach more people
than the bad word of mouth
of dissatisfied customers?

Customer service as a
grudging add-on,
are you kidding?

That's like courting a woman
lavishly, then beating her up
once you've got a wedding ring
on her finger.

Idiotic. Sadistic. Amateur.

Relegating customer service
to a low priority
is the mark of advancing
suicidal insanity.

Offshore outsourcing
of customer service
and the service personnel
can barely speak English,
and they're happy with
$1.30 a day, since it's
"much more than what
other jobs in that country pay."

Companies think
they're saving money?
They're losing customers,
but saving money?
They're defiling their brand,
but saving money?
Creating a negative mental profile
in the minds of the public,
but saving money?

The outsourcing "logic" is:

your in-house staff is careless,
they don't check references,
they mis-place files,
they aren't detail-oriented,
they resist new procedures,
they're too comfortable,
they're not dedicated,
they don't take their work seriously...

But total strangers who know nothing
about your business or customer base...

...your sensitive information:
employee records,
medical data, encryption codes,
and network security...

are in good hands with them...??????

Yeah, right.

Go "save a lot of money" all you want.

I'll be laughing along with your competitors.

You're "saving a lot of money" while
you're losing a lot of customers.

Poor service kills great products,

and "mind-blowing advertising"
during the Super Bowl,

or "awesome giveaways"
on the Oprah Winfrey show,

won't save them from
the spreading sickness
of poor service and
bad post-sale attitudes.

"The customer is always right,
so just put her on hold.
Eventually she'll get exasperated
and hang up." = corporate greed-psychosis.

Martha Stewart & Mentally Correct Marketing

Martha Stewart needs a strong,
but ultimately refreshing dose
of Mentally Correct Marketing.

When will celebrities, hot shots,
and smarty pants ever learn?

Here's how the human mind works:

1. People who do something wrong
should admit it.

2. People who don't admit it
seem like liars, con artists, egomaniacs.

3. People who persist in framing everything
in pretty doilies,
when more appropriate would be
a wreath of thorns,
are not respected or trusted.
Nor are they given sympathy.

4. People who feel like they're being
railroaded into punishment,
when they're actually innocent,
should quit whining
and acting magnanimous
about getting their just desserts.

5. People who are truly innocent
are usually better off
being humble, self-effacing,
patient, and even silent.
Jesus displayed these
qualities when being accused
and led to his unwarranted death.

6. Martha Stewart is using
image-centric marketing:
preserve the original image,
with no concessions, at all costs.

7. Image-centric marketing is
for losers, unethical CEOS,
and desperados.

Invasion of the Bloggers

"Beautiful bloggers, boldly
lashing out against frauds,
against tyranny,
against false gods...

Beautiful bloggers, told me
how to market me,
how to email free,
how to embark on
a blogging spree..."

Some lyrics to a
new hit song
in the radio
of my heart.

Yes, blogging really is
the next big thing.
Blogs distribute hot news,
URL discoveries,
personal, educated opinions.

Ignore the blah blah blah plogs,
the P [ersonal drivel web] LOGS,
filled with boring, egocentric trivia.

Turn toward the phlog blogs:
PH [ilosophical web] LOGS
filled with profound, user-centric treasures.

Soon, we will all get most of our
news, how-to tips, gossip,
web site recommendations,
technical help, encouragement,
spiritual illumination, even
inter-personal fellowship...

...from blogs. Blogs that act
as antidotes to the controlled media,
as remedies to the poisoned churches,
as refreshing relief from elitist cliques,
as answer machines seeking truth.

Monday, September 13, 2004

Mirror of User Reality

Everything you think you know
about your product, service, or organization
is a ridiculous lie. Every idea is wrong.
Until...envisioned and reflected
in the Mirror of User Reality.

The Mirror of User Reality.
The Truth of Product Viability.
The Fact of Service Functionality.
The Knowable Fragment of the Actionable Marketing Universe.

Nothing is "true" or "real" or "objectively actual"
until you observe, non-invasively, even secretly if possible,
typical users operating your product
or accessing your service
or interacting with your personnel.

The Mirror of User Reality.

Everything else is meaningless garbage.

Saturday, September 11, 2004

What's a "Benefit"?


As marketing consultants, we constantly proclaim:

"Tell customers what benefits the product provides."

"Explain how those features result in specific benefits to the customer."

"Put the biggest, most desired benefit of the product in the headline."

And clients sometimes ask: "What do you mean? What's a benefit?"


Okay. Here's a partially redundant
catalogue of what a benefit is:

...a good result that occurs
when you use the product
(e.g. products that only help
when we activate them)

...a nice thing that happens
because you have the product
(e.g. products that work
without our operation: a vaccine)

...the practical purpose of the product's existence

...what makes an item a buyable product,
rather than an object of useless curiosity
or callous indifference

...what, without the product, is accomplished
with much more effort, time, or expense

...the desired effect of a product feature

...what a product function must produce

...what causes a product to be liked by customers

...the reason why the customer buys the product

...what each product feature must be translated into,
when describing the product to customers

...what all promotional material must emphasize

...what every headline must contain

...what draws customers toward you...
or toward your competitors

...what all innovations strive to accomplish
in a new way, or for new customer segments.

Simplicity Shall Prevail


This is the official blog
of Streight Site Systems.


Not a chatty blog

where I try to be witty...

...and you post comments

praising or criticizing me.


This is a demonstration

of minimalistic marketing.


In this blog of business poetry,

simplicity shall prevail.


You'll receive good ideas

as easily as opening your eyes


faster than the speed of thought.


"Mentally Correct Marketing"

Welcome to it.

Friday, September 10, 2004

Mentally Correct Marketing #01

Mentally Correct Marketing.

Means knowing how the mind works.

Then developing promotional material.

That satisfies and delights the mind.

So customers enjoy reading or hearing or seeing it.

That's all. But that's enough.

Faster Than Thought

Your message must be


You must grab

the attention
of the customer.


tell them what they
need to know...

in language
they'll understand...

about how your product
will benefit them

with a benefit they
very much.